Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
