hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He kissed a someone with a penis
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
