It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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