i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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