wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
