You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
