you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
