i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
