Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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