I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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