If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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