is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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