sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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