Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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