Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

We're doing a case race on Saturday.

(302): View more from Delaware

I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.

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(845): View more from New York

i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.

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(404): View more from Georgia

we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20

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(815): View more from Illinois

Hey

(312): View more from Illinois

Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$

(815): View more from Illinois

GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS

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