hell yes lets make some ravioli
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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