Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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