I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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