Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
