Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
