You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
