I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
