im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
