the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize