I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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