plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
