I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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