Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
