yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
