She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
