So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
