Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
