but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
