Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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