sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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