Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
