Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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