why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
