I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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