If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
