Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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