toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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