Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
