I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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