my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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