He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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