You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's blow job season.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
