About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
