His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
