i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize