i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I love you.
Bad choice
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
