Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
