Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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