i need an iv and a liver transplant
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
