WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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