you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
