rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
