Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
