atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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