Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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