Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
