32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
