i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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