guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
