do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
